refinishing walnut stained cabinets.

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I am apprehensive about this project because not only are the cabinets stained, but also the wainscotting, doors, frames and Large built in hutch. After 28 years of use, there are a few bad spots; namely water splatter wear and tear around the sink and heat related dryness around the cooktop area. I would prefer to address the worn areas without having to re-do the whole kitchen. Perhaps refinishing isn't my only option. Is there a product you could recommend or technique I could use to blend the finish into these worn areas without having to tackle the whole room.
If I must re-do the whole room, please recommend specific steps for this project so I can obtain the best results.
I have also considered cleaning, deglossing, priming, painting a bisque white with a taupe glaze for an antique finish; for a completely different look. My biggest problem with this is, there is so much wood area and not having a designers eye, I don't know what to paint and what to leave in the walnut stain. Any suggestions you can offer will be most appreciated.
Thank you. Lil Cat