The softened water does not harm septic tank performance, but the flushed salts from regeneration can. Get the water softener of your choice, (sodium chloride salt softeners are the most economical) but be sure the backflush drain does NOT go into your septic. Construct a dry well away from your leach field and well intake. Discharge the softener regeneration water through a pipe to the dry well. A dry well is simply a length of 4-inch perforated pipe surrounded by drain rock, and allows the discharged water to diffuse to ground. Keep the discharge away from valuable trees and plantings that could be affected by salt.
The discharged brine can increase chloride levels in near-surface groundwater. This is generally not a problem where recharge is significant or the well is situated in a deeper aquifer. There is an excellent article on this subject that suggests methods of minimizing impacts from water softener use by Michigan Dept of Environmental Quality:
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