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Well, first off, I think you're WAY too low on your estimates. You may have a day or 2 over a 2 week period where you use 50 gallons per day even for 2 of you. But I think you'd be surprised that it could be DOUBLE that, and more, on more 'normal days'.
Visit the US Geological Survey" and click the Water Use URL (or link.) From there, click Estimated Water Use in the United States in 1995. THEN, from there, click the Domestic Use URL (on the right side.) That will download an Adobe PDF file. It could take a while but be patient. If you were to search for the string: per day, you'll see that for 'well use', the average is estimated to be 60-120 GPD (gallons per day.)
I'm on public water service. In my jurisdiction, they estimate our EDU to be 185 GPD. It doesn't matter if you live by yourself in an apartment or have a family of 6 with 3 cars and lawn watering. It's an ESTIMATED AVERAGE for EVERYONE. I understand that you're thinking that it's just the 2 of you but unless you're metering your well water, you would have to 'log' your usage and go from there.
A couple of things you should do is get the Minimum Flow Stats from either your builder or your Municipal Office. The land has to meet certain minimums before homes can be built. Then, get the actual REPORTED flow rates. See how they compare w/your usage.
Don't forget things like sprinkler systems, car washing, dishwashers, washing machines, cooking water, ice maker, humidifier systems, etc., etc., need to be figured into your usage. Do you actually have a meter installed where the tank's water enters the house??? Check around - You might be able to buy one and have it inserted into the line. (If you do this yourself, be careful if you have a Home Warranty. Check w/your builder first BEFORE doing any purchasing to see how it might affect your Warranty.)
Oh, Can you watch your tank fill while it's filling??? maybe there's a problem w/the Fill Level Shut-off Unit. In other words, maybe water is running out the overflow because the unit hasn't 'detected' that the tank is full.
Stick around - Others may have more to offer. My best to ya and hope this helps.
Jay J -Moderator
PPS: I don't think your water softener has anything to do w/your problem, but then again, does it have some sort of 'overfill line' in it ???
PS: God Bless America!